I don't want to be nice!!!

I deleted a bunch of posts on my blog because I didn't want to be evidence in a certain child support case if perhaps one of the parties read my blog. I mean if you google my name it is the first thing that pops up and though everything I wrote was true and exactly how I felt I don't want someone else using my words to gain anything.

I just am getting so frustrated that I feel like I have no where to turn with my feelings without fear of being judged, questioned, or whatever. At this point I don't care anymore. I wont say her name but I have to vent.

I am so sick and tired of her crap! She uses everyone around her, takes them for granted, and complains about having a free place to stay and disrespects the people taking care of her on a daily basis. She is not related to me by blood and the way she is treating my mom is about to push me over the edge. She makes bad choices and puts those choices before everyone in her life including the two that should mean the world to her. She nearly had a person that is very very close to me put in jail on Christmas because SHE was fucked up and had no idea what was going on. So when that person snapped on her ass she called the cops.. what the fuck? The other night my mom called me in tears because she feels like her home has been taken over and she isn't welcome in her own home. My mother is completely stressed out she doesn't sound like herself, she's losing weight, and she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. However she is kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place because it is not only her home but my stepfather's as well and well he's not going to kick his child out on the streets.

Be that as it may, what I am getting so pissed off about is that she pulls these ridiculous stunts, treats everyone around her like dog shit, doesn't take care of her responsibilities and we are all supposed to "be nice". WHY? I don't want to be nice I want to tell her exactly how it is. Why should we have to sugar coat things for a person that is the most selfish inconsiderate ungrateful BITCH I have ever laid my eyes on. We have to be there and support her just because she MIGHT decide to change her life? I don't think so! If the events that took place in the last couple of months didn't open her eyes nothing will. She has completely taken over everyone's life with her bullshit and everyone is stressed out and struggling while she sits her fat happy ass at home all day everyday without a care in the world. Think shes out trying to get a job? NO! Think she is making sure my mom doesn't have any added stress? NO! Instead she is sleeping until 2 and 3 in the afternoon, staying up all night, getting fucked up, and letting the people that are around her pull her weight. ITS BULLSHIT!

My babyshower is Sunday and I did not invite her. However she just assumed she could come and told my mom she was coming. I don't want her there but mom said I have to be nice. WHY???? I am tired of being fake.. I don't like her, I don't respect her, and quite frankly I have had about enough of her mistreating my mother. Every time I talk to my mom I get a little more pissed off.. my mom sounds broken and just empty.. definitely not herself. I know it's her making my mom feel this way because she calls me to vent quite often. I have to sit back and keep my mouth shut and put on a smile when I am around her when really I want to slam her head into a wall. I know my mom is a grown woman and needs to take care of this but like I said before there are other people involved and my mom is trying her hardest to just keep the peace. I don't want to be nice anymore and if she shows up to my babyshower I don't think I can put on a fake smile anymore. This is my time..and I will not have her in there spewing out her pity parties and bullshit! I am not a fake person and it takes a lot for me to pretend to be nice to her for the sake of "keeping the peace" but I just dont give a damn anymore. She doesnt give a damn about anyone around her so why should we?

Well I thought venting would make me feel better, but it didn't. Obviously the only thing that is going to make me feel better is to put this bitch in her place!